So on Tuesday night, June the 12th I arrived at the East Coast Grill located on Cambridge Street, near Innman Sq. in Cambridge, Massachusetts. I arrived with the soul purpose of self torture and stomach mutilation while partaking in their bi-annual Hell Night. Below you will see a picture of the master of ceremonies Dr. Pepper who greets all guests with fanfare and adoration, that is until you request the "Antidote"... More on the "Antidote" later!
In order to gain a seat at the table for the June 12th evening, I had stood in line early on a Saturday morning late in the month of April to hopefully receive reservations. When I got to the restaurant at approximately 8:15am I was surprised to see over 50 people in line in front of me(reservations weren't being taken until 9:00am). As 9:00am approach over another 75 were behind me. You can make reservations for whatever size party you would like and due to the fact that the restaurant only does three sittings a night for three nights, getting there early is a must. I waited in line with the crazed Pepper Heads listening as they shared stories of their most coveted Heat Seeking missions (Some successful some utter failures). It was at this point I realized what I was signing up for and knew that more practice would be necessary in preparation for the gastronomical torture I was in for on Tuesday night, June the 12th.
A few weeks later I ended up in a large sub-shop and food market in Tyngsboro, Massachusetts called Ayottes. While purchasing a sandwich with friends, I noticed an entire section of the shelving dedicated to hundreds of various hot sauces. As I looked at the wall I found one that was particularly intriguing, it was called "Satan's Blood" and measured 800,000 Scoville Units (The chili worlds equivalent to Alcohol content and 800,000 being equivalent to some of the South's purest White Lightening which often measures well over 60% Alcohol, this hot sauce would be the real deal. The world's hottest chili award goes to the Moruga Scorpion chili which weighs in at 1.2 million SU) On a side-note for 1.35 ounces of this hot sauce it in fact cost $16.99, which leads me to believe that the process to create it is intense and will therefore be well worth the purchase.
I made it home nearly sweating with anticipation and proceeded to dip a toothpick ever-so-slightly into the top of the ornately created seal, when I placed it on my tongue it did not disappoint. At first it was a searing flame on a single piece of the flesh of my tongue. As my salivary glands started to go into overdrive the fiery temptress spread through my mouth and face, down my throat and deep into the annals of my belly. The burn was pure and clean and even with this minute amount the sensation lasted well over 10 minutes. I proceeded over the next month to push my limits ever so slightly increasing my intake with various foods that I would ingest. Needless to say I enjoy this sort of thing and it was not some masochistic attempt to prove my manhood. Prior to this nearly everyday I would have hummus at lunch time which I would dip directly into a jar of chunky inflamed Vietnamese srichacha.
As the night of Hell quickly approached Adam and I would go to a Mexican Burrito joint in Harvard Square where they provide free-of-charge some very spicy Habanero (100,000-350,000 SU) sauce to all patrons. We would take turns challenging each other to dip more of our burrito into it and pile more and more of it onto our plates, we were focused, we were driven, and maybe even a little crazy.
From June 9th-12th I suddenly was crippled by fear. Unsure if my preparation would be enough to allow me to finish this journey I had begun, I pushed on. Over the last 3 days of "training" I ingested roughly a quarter ounce of "Satan's Blood". As the anticipation grew, so did my fear. Would I be able to survive this ordeal, and what exactly had I signed up for?
Prior to embarking on this adventure I had watched an episode of the food network show "Heat Seeker's" with Aaron Sanchez. Aaron had gone to the previous years HELL NIGHT equipped with a camera crew to imbibe in the infamous "Pasta from Hell". After merely 3 bites he had thrown in the towel and requested the "Antidote". (The "Antidote" is a mysterious orange creamsicle that the faint of heart can purchase for $2.50 at any time during the HELL NIGHT experience, when the "Antidote" is ordered Dr. Pepper personally brings it to you and berates you with unpleasant comments to expose your weakness.) [The "Antidote" would not be an option for me.]
June 12th arrived and as I counted down the hours my stomach began to contort into all types of knots I had no idea it was capable of making! I arrived on Cambridge St. a short drive from my apartment in Waltham psyched up to survive the night. After meeting Adam and his girlfriend Daniela, we stepped inside to begin our wild ride.
The restaurant was abuzz with blissful patrons enjoying the tasty morsels so deftly prepared in the open kitchen. There were only two problems at this point. #1 When we sat down and were handed menu's we realized that the HELL PASTA had been pulled from the menu, when questioning the staff with regards to the omission they methodically answered each and every time that the ingredients for the pasta were unable to be procured. Further inspection into the situation also eluded to the fact that last year an ambulance had been called to extricate a customer whom had stopped breathing during the course of finishing their Pasta from Hell. Whatever the case may be the pasta was out... #2 As soon as we sat down we were consumed with a fiery peppery mixture that was wafting through the air like some sort of evil bean soaked flatulence. The air was so thick with chili gases that even customers not consuming food from the HELL NIGHT Menu had begun to cough uncontrollably. It is worth mentioning that some of the Chili's used in the dishes had Scoville Units above the 1.2 million mark. To put this in perspective the now famous industrial pepper spray used on the UC Davis students during the Occupy Movement was a mere two million Scoville Units in strength.
At this point we are pot committed and start to pour over the menu like some cheese nut in a Southern French Fromaggerie. We decided that the proper approach would be to have our entrees first and to round out the night with the hottest menu item the "Phucket Style - Ass Fire Wings". I decided to try the Blistering Baby Back Ribs and Adam went with a beautiful Seafood Medley made with the Moruga Scorpion Chili the hottest known pepper in the world (1.2 million SU), this chili originated in Trinidad and can now be procured in various places around the globe.
Adam and I had decided that we would share with one another some of our delicious entree's. His being the hotter of the two choices I was stoked to give it a go. Although both entrees were ridiculously hot, I was ever so glad I had put in the practice that I had leading up to this faithful night. The flavors of the Ribs and Seafood were amazing and I daresay if you subtracted the heat they could have been prize winning dishes standing by themselves. The flavors popped through the heat with the agility only a master chef could have prepared. We finished in roughly ten minutes, and after this point we had another ten minutes to wait until the fire from inside and on the outside of our bodies to subside. Although it was incredibly hot and I wouldn't recommend it to anyone aside from the sickest of the sick, for "Heat Seekers" like Adam and myself it wasn't as bad as could have been expected.
The waitress came over to check on us to see if we needed the "Antidote" which very obviously we did not. She also inquired if we would still be wanting to order the ASS FIRE Wings to which we promptly and resoundingly responded YES!
Now, at this point we had exceeded our own expectations and we could have walked away knowing that we had successfully eaten dishes that perhaps only 4% of the entire U.S. population would even attempt to eat. For us this was not enough. We were hellbent on finishing out what we had started to accomplish. Dr. Pepper approached our table with our waiver forms - yes, signing of a waiver form is required to eat these wings.
The wings arrived on a small unceremonious plate drenched in a sauce whose color can only be described as slightly dried blood, a dark reddish brown color full of non-descript chunks and various chili seeds. We knew the time had come, it was time to see what we were made of.
As we took our first bites, (as fast as we possibly could) We knew that the 10 bomb rating (Even HELL NIGHT has a rating scale for degrees of hotness) was not at all an overstatement. We plowed through the wings, with each bite the burn burrowing deeper and deeper into our esophogas' and stomach lining. The sauce soaked into parts of my beard and began to burn my face. Our eyes watered, our noses ran, skin burned and we struggled on. In the end this is what our plate of wings looked like.
We had survived, albeit in a much more humble state but we had not been beaten. The heat that permeated our very souls, lasted with a numbing affect for well over 20 minutes post-wing completion. My face was numb, my stomach was in turmoil, my head was spinning, my soul was smiling, and Adam and I agreed we would be there at the next HELL NIGHT that would be held in October.
THANK-YOU EAST COAST GRILL FOR AN INCREDIBLE EXPERIENCE!!!!!!!!
